Origins
by Bookaholic346
Summary: Ashura does his best to cheer up his cousin, who laments that he's completely lucked out in the genetic lottery compared to the rest of their incredible family. (one shot)


"Somebody's looking glum." There was a rustle of leaves as the dark haired man settled himself down next to the dying embers of the campfire. The man sitting across from the fire looked up briefly with glare, then flicked his eyes back down to the glowing charcoal.

"I'm not… _glum._" The man sounded insulted by the word. He refused to look back up at his companion, choosing instead to rest his chin on his hands, feeling the warm heat of the fire on his face.

The dark haired man sighed and leaned back on his hands, shifted slightly to resettle his white kimono around him. "Don't play games with me, Keiji. You've been pouting for most of the evening."

Angry eyes looked up. "I'm not _pouting._" Again the disgust leaked through into the man's voice. The dark haired man raised an eyebrow at the one that he called Keiji, unsure of how to bring up the fact that his blatant denial of his current mood was only making himself seem even more childish.

"Whatever." The dark haired man paused, examining his companion closely. "So…. Are you going to tell me what's bothering you?"

Keiji's head fell fully into his hands. "You're not going to shut up until I talk to you, right Ashura?"

"Nope."

"Ugh."

"The faster you start talking, the faster I leave you alone…" Ashura said slyly. God Keiji hated it when he spoke like that: like he was prepared to be the most annoying thing in the universe for as long as it took to get what he wanted.

Keiji sighed. "It's just… not _fair._" He admitted finally.

Ashura frowned. "What's not?"

"I thought you and I were in this together Ashura." Keiji sniffed. "'Little Brothers United', and all that."

The blank look on Ashura's face told Keiji he still wasn't following. Keiji shook his head. _I swear to God, I'd follow this man into the depths of hell, and he's one amazing commander, but it's like he has a brick between his ears sometimes._

"Look, your older brother was always amazing, inheriting the Sharingan from your father." Keiji said. "My older brothers inherited Father's dojutsu too. Then there was us: the little brothers that got squat-all in the inheritance department."

"And…?" Ashura still didn't see what the problem was. He'd come to terms with the fact that his brother had been born with more talent years ago, having these facts pointed out to him now utterly unfazed him. He _knew_ Indra was better, so he just told himself to work four times as hard to catch up.

"Well, I was just sitting here contemplating how 'Team Untalented Younger Brothers' has dwindled to just me." Keiji said sullenly. "We can't really call you the untalented brother anymore, what with all these new powers you've been pulling out of your arse recently fighting Indra." Keiji sighed. "What was it your Father said again? Oh, right: you're a late bloomer that inherited the awesome physical powers of your Father, all that stamina and punching power and shit." Keiji couldn't help it. He pouted. "Turns out you didn't pull the short straw when it comes to talent after all. I'm the only disappointment in this family."

"Don't be stupid, you're not a disappointment Keiji." Ashura protested, rolling his eyes at his sulking cousin. "You have lots of good abilities!"

Keiji just stared at him, unimpressed. "The twins got the Byakugan. I got vitality and stamina." He said flatly. "The universe is not fair."

"The Twins rely too much on their Byakugans." His friend pointed out. "They're snooty about it. I like you much better."

"Gee, thanks, at least now I know that I at least trump my brothers in being more _tolerable_…" Keiji said dryly.

"Trust me, the next time that I see your brothers will be too soon." Ashura replied. "Speaking of: we haven't seen them in quite a while, what happened to the two sour pusses anyway?"

"Haruki-Nii-san settled down in a valley somewhere to teach our branch fighting style." Keiji said. "Hideki-Nii-San went to live on the moon with Father."

There was a long pause as Ashura stared at his cousin with wide eyes, unsure how he was supposed to react to that. He opened his mouth, then shut it again with an audible click. "Uh….. okay then….."

"Look, the point is, Indra's amazing because he inherited the Sharingan, the twins are both amazing because they inherited the Byakugan and you're amazing because you inherited that incredible physical power of Uncle's. Me… I just got some extra chakra capacity and an inability to sit still because I'm too full of natural energy and stamina."

"Natural energy and stamina are good!" Ashura pointed out. "You can easily outlast most of your opponents when you fight, and having more chakra has got to be useful; it means that you can use some really awesome moves in quick succession without getting tired!"

"Yeah, I guess, but do you have any idea how much of a pain having absurdly large chakra reserves can be? I can't use camping jutsus to light small fires, I overload the technique and set everything on fire by accident." Keiji, it seemed, was determined to see fault in everything. Ashura was starting to admit that his cousin really did seem to have caught the short end of the stick when it came to abilities. He desperately racked his brain, trying to think of a compliment that might cheer his favourite relative up a little.

"Hey!" Ashura sat up straighter, pleased with himself. He'd thought up a good one; something that his cousin couldn't really find fault in. "What about sealing? You're definitely the best in the family at that! Father said that you really had a knack, and you were probably going to surpass him and Uncle one day."

Keiji stared at him for a long moment. "Yeah, I guess that's true." He said grudgingly. "At least I'm good at sealing. Isn't that great, your descendants will inherit all your awesome powers, while mine can inherit… my knack for sealing."

"There's really no pleasing you, is there?"

"Probably not."

"If it makes you feel better, I'll leave a will behind saying that our families have to intermarry at some point so that your descendants can have a shot at inheriting some of my awesome powers too."

"Somehow, that still doesn't make me feel much happier."

"Come on, lighten up! I'm sure your descendants will end up kicking their fair share of butts in the future too." Ashura reassured him. "So you lucked out on the genetic lottery; it's not the end of the world."

"I can see it now: the clans descended from the great Hagoromo and Hamura, Indra's clan of Sharingan elites, Haruki-Nii-San's clan of Byakugan all seeing geniuses, your clan of god-knows-what and my clan of…. nice little picture drawers…"

Ashura felt like he had been doing a lot of eye rolling in this conversation thus far, but he couldn't help but do it again. "Keiji, you and I both know that sealing is a lot harder than just drawing a bunch of nice little pictures." He sighed: maybe a slight shift in conversation was overdue? "But speaking of clans, did you hear what they're calling Nii-san's little group now?"

"What?" Distraction successful: Keiji was looking at him with interest.

"The Uchiha clan." Ashura said promptly. "Apparently they started off as the Uchiwa: _fanning the flames_, that sort of thing, but some drunk slurred the word when he was spreading rumours, and everyone mispronounces it as Uchiha now."

Keiji sniggered. "Betcha that pleased Indra…. Not."

Ashura couldn't help but laugh along with his cousin. It was amusing to think that his older brother had finally had something not go quite his way: people would be mispronouncing his clan name for the rest of eternity, and he was powerless to stop it. Like it or not, the Sharingan users were known collectively as the Uchiha clan now.

"Apparently they're calling Haruki-Nii-san's family the Hyuga now." Keiji said. "I heard it somewhere."

"'_A Place in the Sun'_… really?" Ashura frowned at Keiji in disbelief. "Doesn't sound like your brother."

"Apparently it's because the valley he settled in is a really nice place." Keiji said bluntly. "It's not a reference to my brother's disposition, sunny or otherwise." The two of them sniggered again at their relative's expense.

"Wonder what they'll end up calling my clan…" Ashura said dreamily. "Bet it's something really awesome, like: The Unstoppable clan, or The Devilishly Handsome clan… either option is good." He grinned at his cousin.

Keiji just blinked at him in surprise. "Wait… you don't know yet?"

"Know what?"

"They gave your clan a name _months_ ago, how do you not know this yet?" Keiji said in disbelief.

"Huh? Really?" Ashura laughed. "What are they calling us then?"

"They dubbed you the Senju." Keiji shook his head. "Really, you need to get out more. The Senju clan is the talk of the town in every bar I've visited in the last couple of months."

"Senju, huh…" Ashura wrinkled his nose, testing out the word for the first time. "It's not too bad, I suppose… it's cool that we're famous for having a thousand skills, but it seems kind of tame…." He trailed off, then smirked. "Oh well: at least they're pronouncing it correctly." He shrugged and looked at his cousin thoughtfully. "Do you know what they've been calling you?" He said slowly, a wicked twinkle in his eye.

Keiji's eyes snapped up from the embers of the fire once again to stare at his cousin in confusion. "I wasn't aware that they'd started calling my family anything." He said tartly, "We're not exactly a gaudy bunch, like a certain group called the S_enju_ I know of."

Ashura's face was far too innocent. "Well, ask around, but I'm pretty sure that they're calling your bunch the Uzumaki now."

Keiji blinked at him once. Twice. Three times.

"Oh, you BASTARD!"

"What did I do?!"

"I can't believe this! _'spiral'?_ Really?!" Keiji glowered at Ashura across the fire. "I swear to God Ashura, if I find out this was you're doing, I'll…"

"I swear I didn't come up with the name!" Ashura protested.

Keiji just scowled. "Maybe that's true, but it's definitely _your_ fault if people are connecting my family to lame puns about spirals. You were the one that thought it would be funny to paint that bright red spiral target on my back during that fight for shits and giggles!"

"Hehe, yeah… that was pretty funny…"

"ASHURA!" Keiji leapt across the fire for his cousin, scattering embers everywhere in his rage. Ashura darted out of his lunge easily, jumping to his feet with a graceful movement and making his graceful escape, laughing like a madman. Keiji wasted no time scrambling to his own feet in order to pursue. If it was true, and his budding clan was now stuck being named after Ashura's stupid practical joke… well, heads were going to roll. His lot were considered quite a rowdy bunch, after all, and that was an inheritance Keiji was proud to claim.

* * *

**A/N:**

This just came to me and I had to write it down. I know that I've probably messed around with the details in canon: technically speaking, the Uzumaki clan and the Senji were both descended from Asura, there was no other ancestor thrown in the mix. I thought it would be funny for Ashura to have this conversation with a member of his family that didn't get any of their awesome mind blowing powers. When you think about it, between Indra, Ashura and whoever kick-started the Hyuga clan, any other family member thrown into that bunch must have felt very inadequate. Making my OC family member into the ancestor of the Uzumaki just seemed hilarious just because of the irony: Keiji laments about how his future descendents won't become great because they can't inherit any cool powers from him; little does he know that the greatest Ninja to come along since the sage of the six paths would end up being one of his direct descendants!

About the names:

You'll notice that Ashura and Keiji talk about the meanings of the four clan names. I got the meanings from the Naruto wiki. I have next to no knowledge of Japanese myself, so if there's any mistakes please accept my apologies.

Senju : Literally means 'a thousand skills'; 'a thousand hands'

Hyuga: Means 'towards the sun' or 'place in the sun'

Uzumaki: It is a pun on 'Spiral', because it refers to a three-dimensional spiral, like a whirlpool or vortex.

Uchiha: Is another way of pronouncing 'uchiwa' (fan), which is the Uchiha clan symbol. Uchiwa can be used to fan flames, making flame hotter – referring to the fact that the Uchiha is a clan of fire techniques users.

(I copied these explanations almost word for word from the Naruto Wiki pages on the Senju, Hyuga, Uzumaki and Uchiha respectively.)


End file.
